Stopping the spiral

Last fall I was on track. I was eating well, losing weight, taking time for myself, meditating, completing the SCS assignments. Around the holidays, I gave myself a lot of wiggle room to eat, drink, stay up late, skip meditation and coaching work. Now I’m 3 months past the holidays, and am completely off track. I’ve gained back half the weight I lost, have been giving into my sugar/carb cravings non-stop, haven’t meditated in over a month, and can’t remember the last full month of SCS work that I did. I feel like a failure mentally, and physically I’m not feeling so well either. I’ve tried to get my eating back on track a few times in the past few weeks, and end up breaking my protocol within days. I can’t seem to get my motivation or my will power back, and feel like my entire life is spiraling out of control. I’m sure that I just need to make a commitment to myself that I’ll do the things that make me physically and mentally healthy, and then follow through on that commitment. I’m struggling with how to motivate myself to actually follow through though. Can you help me figure this out?