Stuck – lp

I keep creating the same painful experience over and over and over again. I think I am not really willing to look at these thoughts because they’re so painful. I am thinking about signing up for 1:1 coaching for a second time. Brooke coached me once about hating my job and said to stop focusing on my job and focus on liking me. I am able to be the watcher of some of my thoughts but when it comes to work, it’s like I have no awareness and it’s so so painful and I am having a really hard time changing my thoughts. When I’m not working, it’s like I’m just buffering to get by with these shitty thoughts.

Here’s my thought download.

T: I hate myself
T: I can’t keep up with everything
T: I suck so much
T: how does my boss think I’m doing well when I think I’m the worst ever?
T: I will never figure this out
T: I hate this
T: nothing makes sense
T: I don’t know what’s going on
T: I hate everything
T: I don’t want to do any of this
T: going into debt to figure this out is worth it
T: I would quit but then I’d have to get another job which I would suck at
T: wow I am really committed to these thoughts