Surprise..all up in my head.

After your podcast on shyness, I swear I heard angels sing. For one..I’ve never thought of myself as an introvert. But see now, that, I totally am. I’ve lived my life with the saying “I hate people.” Not that I actually did but it was my reasoning/excuse of not attending parties or events that I knew there’d be people talking to me.

At church, I sit in the back row. I avoid going onto group calls because I’d rather not feel the anxieties of possibly having to say something. I listen to the recordings and learn a ton but now I’m seeing that I could be learning so much more if I put myself out there more. I was coached once on a call and once at a modelthon. And to this day I still think about all the stupid stuff I said and how awkward I made it to be. I feel that awkward feeling every time I’m around people. UNLESS I’m coaching/teaching. Oddly, I can show up and help others because its about them. But when it comes to being a part of a group, I freeze and am all up in my head making it all about me.

My question now is how to work through the initial fear of even putting myself around people, physically or virtually. While I did learn a ton in the podcast about myself and how to interact..I can’t practice it if I don’t allow myself to be in the situation.