The next iteration seems to be so much more difficult than the previous one


Hello Brooke,
I did a teacher training for a specific painting process last year. I had some difficulties to move through it but in the end, I managed to do all my painting and writing assignments on time and graduated. The content of SCS was really helpful with this.
While doing my last painting I felt an inner calling to teach this process and develop a curriculum. So I started to outline the curriculum. I found a class which taught how to create an online painting class which I had no clue how to do.

I thought it would be easy and that after doing all the work last year I would be totally fine creating the course but I am not.
I find myself procrastinating and buffering more than ever before.
The content is outlined, I have all the filming equipment, I know exactly what to do but when I sit down to record the painting process I am so afraid that I freeze and don’t do it.

I have difficulties to act despite the fear. And it is specific for the videoing of the painting. I procrastinate a bit around the writing part but not much and I have done most of it by now. But for the painting part I only have 1 out of 9 videos.
Some part is fear of failure, other is fear of being seen and out there, there is the perfectionism thing with me wanting the painting to be beautiful. I know that I am learning. I know that the painting does not need to be beautiful and that it might even be better for the participants if it is not. I am not losing my livelihood, job or anything over this. Nor will my family and friends abandon me. But still.
Last year these thoughts helped me to move on with my paintings and they still work when I get stuck in my head when I paint for myself without camera. But with the camera nothing seems to get me moving. Help, please!

Thank you for your advice.
Happy Easter to you and your family.
Corinna