Last week I went for the last time to the mountain house that my parents owned for 23 years, and that we’re selling in the aftermath of my father’s death.
I had lots of thoughts creating sadness and grief for myself around this, and I had planned on thinking some of them on purpose because that’s the space I chose to be in.
What I hadn’t anticipated was that, while trying to allow and process those emotions as well as I could, my brain also went back to a lot of old thought patterns making me feel resentful and easily offended with my husband, despite him being kind and supportive as could be.
And I felt too engrossed in the rawness of my emotions to find the ressources to self-coach effectively. I just felt foggy and lost and stuck.
My initial reaction was to feel frustrated with myself, like, you’re doing this now? we’ve dealt with this long ago, what’s with the regression?
But I did scrape up some dregs of self-coaching skills and focused on just telling myself, “You’re feeling offended and resentful because of sentences in your brain. You can’t quite find the energy to examine or change those thoughts right now, and that’s OK. Nothing has gone wrong. You’re going to be OK.”
It eventually passed, like I hoped it would, but it really didn’t seem so in the thick of it.
Have you ever encountered this phenomenon of not finding the energy to manage your thoughts on lesser topics, when busy processing intense feelings on a bigger one? Any thoughts on how to pull through?
Thank you so much!
PS: In other news, it looks like I’ll be officially certified on the 30th! 🤩