Unpacking some judgement

Hello! I watched and loved Rachel’s Diamond call on self-confidence and wanted to unpack a regular judgement that comes up for me applying her teaching re: the mirror effect. I have a history of people-pleasing really worked hard on it over the years, yet I notice I get judgemental when certain people in my life set limits or say No in what I initially term as being curt, or abrupt, or rough. I know of course it is my thoughts, but there must be a mirror here if you could help me unpack…….. So, when I set limits or say no it tends to be with a nicer/softer tone , but when other’s don’t have that softer touch and I get judgement is it because I wish I could do it s more direct/curt way? I’m struggling to make the total connection since it is such an opposite trait from myself……Thank you 🙂