Hey Brooke

I listened to your podcast and I can see myself dropping into VM. I was abused as a child so I think for a long time I believed the thought people can you, your feelings and pain etc. But now I’m an adult and this belief does not serve me and puts me into VM. I often thought people did this to me so it’s their fault and I used to complain, moan and be dramatic about things that weren’t even that big. I think I do this less now at work but I still do it sometimes. Some of the time I do it to be funny so I don’t mind those times as people love it when I rant and I like getting my chest so I know that those times are different from the VM times. I was going to ask.if that was ok as it does keep that habit

But my main reason was to ask how to unlearn the habit as I do it in particular a lot in relationships. I think my friends etc or this guy I like are hurting me when they do things. Like the guy I liked was talking and smiled at another girl he knows in the gym and i was in VM for 24 hours. I didn’t talk to him the next time I saw him. Later on I let go and messaged him as I was choosing frustration and annoyance over having unconditional love. I do this often to him and I don’t want to do it anymore. But in the past with him I used to think if he liked me I would be worthy etc and means I’m.good enough so sometimes I’m scared to UC love him as I think I will go back to seeking his approval. I keep choosing pain ahead of time in my relationship with him as I think it’s better to be on guard so I don’t get hurt now.which I know intectually makes no sense but it’s what I’ve always done so its another habit of mine

Thanks