What do we “owe” to family?


I am mired in second-guessing myself because I don’t feel compassion for my sister. Questions that I struggle with and am unsure how to answer through models:

* Am I obligated to feel compassion for someone just because she’s my family?
* What do we “owe” to family?
* Am I a terrible human being because I feel compassion for most people–but none for my own sister?
* How can I identify a line in the sand that feels right to me, and then enforce it with confidence and conviction?

I’ve run at least a hundred models on this, and it feels like I’m moving farther away from an answer instead of closer. An example model:

(Original model)
C: Sister
T: She’s manipulative, dependent, and entitled, and she needs to learn how to stand on her own two feet
F: Hardened, self-righteous (but also second-guessing myself based on those core unanswered questions above)
A: Don’t provide financial support or validation of her choices
R: Estranged relationship (which, honestly, is a relief–but I feel guilty about feeling relieved)

(Intentional model)
C: Sister
T: She’s on her own journey, and I wish her well
F: Detached and neutral (but still second-guessing myself based on those core unanswered questions above)
A: Mind my own business and work on my own development
R: Estranged relationship (which, honestly, is a relief–but I feel guilty about feeling relieved)

In both models, the A and R are roughly the same, but the T & F feel a bit cleaner in the intentional model.

Am I making this too complicated? Should I ask to be coached on this on the next Diamond call? Thank you so much!