Working on Myself in order to improve my Relationship with my Mother


I have been able to use the tools to help me prepare for recent trip to visit my mom. Concerned about her safety after three hospital visits in less than a month, I went with intention to fly them back to my sister’s to start moving process ( Something she verbally agrees to but stalls)
Here are my models, both unintentional and intentional. The big take home for me today was reading, “We don’t change who we are because of someone else’s behavior”. I want to be proud of the work I do now while my mom is still alive.
C. Mom and Dad are both at risk for falling and increasingly forgetful and in need of additional support.
T. They should move now before anything else happens and are later unable to leave.
F. Annoyed that my mom chooses to stay in TX, far away from her daughters who are offering to help. Worried.
R. She has another incident and ends up in hospital.

C. Mom + Dad are at risk of falling and in need of support again and I am flying down to help them.
T. I want to be Loving, Caring, Grateful Daughter and help them with all my heart.
F. Content, fulfilled that I am able to give my love away. Grateful that I am able to go.
R. I am able to be present when Mom has TIA during visit. I come up with plan and locate resources to fly Mom+ Dad out + go to Indiana with sister ( They only stay for 3 weeks.)

C. Mom + Dad are back in TX without telling me. Now they have increased risks for injury, hospitalizations.
T. How could my sister give in to my mom and let her go back to the chaos? My mom will be climbing up attic stairs, driving and she will end up in the hospital again. It would’ve been better for them to stay in Indy.
F. Angry. Frustrated.Disappointed. Judgmental. Unappreciated.
A. I reminded my mom that she is not cleared to drive and it would be very risky for her to drive. No one calls to discuss the current situation.
R. Ongoing worry. Parents back to living with potential danger that could possibly be prevented.

C. Mom + Dad are at risk of falling and there are signs of dementia. Mom just had 3 Pre Strokes, or TIAs last month.They’re back in TX.
T. My mom can make her own choices. My sister has POA, this is ultimately her job to decide ( with my mom).
F. Challenged to Love them. Concerned about their safety.
A. Rise above the fear. Praying for mom for her happiness and well being. Praying for sister to have wisdom and discernment.
Practicing Self Care daily, Mindfulness. Diving in to SCS.
R. Trying to focus on her positive characteristics. Staying grateful I have a mom and sisters and I have relationships with all of them. Reaching out to keep connected, writing more texts, sending cards and calling.