Year 2 – almost canceled and decided to go in deeper…

Getting my ass kicked by doing the work…

Like NOT a good student I wasn’t doing the work and was thinking of getting out of scholar, I emailed and got everything to stop. Because I had until the 15th I decided to give myself this beginning of July to do get on the site and listen to some of your coaching calls.

Well I’m here in your Ask Brooke Diamond which I didn’t even know about … and started doing the July homework and I’m just feeling sad… and teary and crying.. and I’m thankful and grateful that I have you and that I work from home.

I can go to my room, take a nap, think this is a feeling, look I feel sad, why am I sad? Very appropriate since we’re working on the past. Because this is kicking my ass.

Ok so how does eating a pint of ice cream become a better thought?

C: Ate a pint of ice cream last night (thankfully not tonight)
T: Why, why, why, I’m bored,
F: crap, self-loathing, lonely, feeling sorry for my self.
A: eat ice cream
R: gain weight

C: Ate a pint of ice cream last night (thankfully not tonight)
A: eat ice cream

Of course, this is just the tip of the ice (cream) since the deeper work was more about how I was always looking for a substitute family in the past… But that’s a thought.. right? or a C…

For example.. I never remarried, divorced for over 30 years and I don’t have children. My son would’ve been 24 this past June. I have always been that “aunt” for friends and cousins. And I realized thanks to this work that I was always looking for that family that I never re-created. The husband and kids. Even though I bought my current home thinking I would get married and have children.

ok.. so what’s the C…

And yes, I’m in that 50% of feeling crap and I don’t want to buffer with ice cream, tonight instead I’m here writing to you on Ask Brooke.