It feels weird not to buffer.


This is my thought- its unfamiliar. I’ve processed 22 urges through. After 15 years of bingeing, it happened so fast. I still have urges. I’m still not 100% on protocol. But, instead of eating 3000 cal of ice cream daily when I break protocol, I’m eating a serving of veggies, or extra coconut milk in my coffee.

Its a weird feeling. Like what people do when they lose the weight then gain it back.

My thoughts:
I want this new identity of someone who doesn’t buffer to be more a part of me.
I want it to happen faster, but it also feels like its happening so fast.
So channeling all my desire HOLY SHIT I HAD NO IDEA I HAD SO MUCH DESIRE is becoming easier. I’m channeling it into my business. but then I want to go back to food.

and then I don’t lose the weight.