Relationship with self/defining success


I am working on my relationship with myself. I have a long history of planning very restrictive and unrealistic diets/food plans and then not following them (rebelling). My goal for this month is to plan my food every day and follow that plan (if any changes do the write it down and move on ws), even if this means planning flour and alcohol with some dinners. This has not been easy, but I am starting to have thoughts that I am taking the easy road, that I am not all in, and that I should be able to do it all (plan, follow plan and be no flour/no sugar). How do I decide if I should double down or continue with my original goal?

Thanks