Staying focused

when I set about to lose weight/clean up my diet, I quickly revert to a sense of apathy over the whole thing. My model goes something like this:

C: Weight loss
T: What does it REALLY matter?
F: Apathy
A: revert to familiar habits
R: No change to weight or healthy habits

so I get that my thought, what does it really matter, is my problem here.
how do I keep a steady course to make it matter?
Apathy is a very familiar feeling for me – it is generally how I feel about everything I set out to do
I have read that apathy is a result of settling for less than what you want, or what can be …

I can draw up a new intentional model, but the feeling of apathy still overrides what I put in my thought line
I want to take responsibility for this.
I am hoping this months class will give me some tools to address overriding my tendency to sabotage and allowing myself to feel apathetic, rather than take responsibility for what I want/need to feel in order to have the life I want