I just realized how wonky I was with my models after attending your modelthon. Before – I would have a negative feeling and trace it back to a negative thought. And then I’d want to replace that negative thought with a positive one – which sounds like “doing the model”. But what I realized is that I wasn’t REALLY allowing myself time to 100% “get” that the negative thought isn’t a fact or real. I think I logically knew this – but when I was feeling the negative emotion – I don’t think I was really seeing this. I just wanted to “get out” of feeling negative – so I’d launch into finding a positive thought to fight the negative one (which I was still holding onto).
NOW I get (finally) that the negative thought is an option my brain has chosen AROUND a neutral fact. I was rushing so much to get a new positive thought – that I was really just sliding that negative thought up … kind of sticking it into the circumstance line … and then putting a new positive thought in the T line to fight it! So internally – I was still holding onto the negative thought (“But my brother IS mooching off my Mom!”) – and then trying to create a positive thought to counteract the negative thought. I wasn’t seeing the neutrality behind the first negative thought at all.
NOW I realize that the negative thought IS my brain’s optional, not real, not factual story – about a very neutral fact. REGARDLESS of the strength of my feelings. My feelings only prove my thoughts, NOT anything about the circumstance. And as much as my little brain wants to FIGHT to hold onto that thought – it’s simply not real.
And now that I (finally) get that, I see that I can start focusing on how I DO want to think and feel about this person, thing, situation with a blank slate … from a position that really IS neutral … instead of trying to find a POWERFUL POSITIVE thought to counteract a POWERFUL NEGATIVE thought. I was trying to have a fight of the thoughts – instead of doing the work to realize that my negative thought could be let go – because it was just a made-up negative option … and now I’m looking for a made-up positive option to think about this neutral thing.
LOL – I know. You’re like “Duh” – but I was so caught up before in QUICKLY countering negative thoughts with positive ones – I didn’t go deep enough to really GET that I don’t have to counteract a negative thought when I realize it’s not real – and that the thing I want to think purposely about IS absolutely neutral. So the negative can be released, the neutrality of the thing can be accepted, and from that cleaner place – a more purposeful thought can be made-up … in order to generate the feeling I choose to feel about it.
Can’t believe it took me ALMOST a year to really get this deeper than just conceptually – but it’s REALLY making a difference now in not only how I do my models – but also in my excitement AROUND doing them – AND in the positive results I’m getting.
Excited I’m starting to GET IT at a deeper level now – so I wanted to share. It only took me a year. Before I was like “Oh, I absolutely get it! The model is easy-peasy!” and now I’m like “OH! NOW I finally get it!” (and next year, I’m sure I’ll be like… “OMG! N-O-W I finally get it!”) Here’s to deeper levels of learning the longer I do the work. Thanks, Brooke! 🙂