19 Year Old Son

Tonight I had a big fight with my son.

I wanted him to turn the oven off and put away a plate of food once it had cooled as I was going to work.  I didn’t get a very friendly answer, he grunted at me then angrily said that he’d do what I’d asked.

I asked him what his problem was and why he was always so dismissive of me and what I asked of him, I asked him why he didn’t have to help and contribute around the house. Why can I go out of my way to do nice things for him and he not even have the courtesy to talk to me.  He was on his phone the whole time and giving me half word noncommittal antagonistic answers.

I got so mad! I grabbed his phone and threw it at the wall, I picked it up and threw it again. We both yelled and I said as many horrible things as I could to hurt him. I feel like he just doesn’t give a shit about me or what I feel or need. I love him and thought I raised him to have more care and respect.

What do I do? How do I fix this relationship? I love him but I don’t want to feel disrespected, unappreciated and taken advantage of.

Please help, I feel like I’m losing my mind.