Hello SCS team,
after a few days of “passive action” I finally managed to write my 1rst model !
Could you give me some advice on this one? I can hardly find a positive outcome or result in the intentional model.
Thank you.
Unintentional
C : my older brother is not financially independent and owes huge amounts of money to the government. His attitude is the same since 20 years. Now, this endangers me and my family (parents and sister), he is still not seriously taking action.
T : He is a piece of s**t and doesn’t deserve any attention/help/compassion ANYMORE.
F : Anger, Rage, zero empathy, disgust, anxiety
A : not talking to him anymore
R : protect myself but avoiding my pain and hiding anxiety (getting bigger and bigger)
Intentional
C : my older brother is not financially independent and owes huge amounts of money to the government. His attitude is the same since 20 years. Now, this endangers me and my family (parents and sister), he is still not seriously taking action.
T : How can I help him ?
F : A light of hope
A : Suggest to take care of his son when he is on parental duty to focus on his problems
R : Keeping the link with him indirectly
My parents are getting old and my brother is still blaming them for his failures. I have zero respect and hold a lot of grudges for him and this started 15 years ago (from my hero to a disappointment). I feel terribly sad for him but more and more for the pain my family endures. It seems there is no issue with him : he has so many projects he always fails, he smokes (I’m almost sure he still takes other stuff), he doesn’t earn enough money to even rent a flat by himself (because he is an entrepreneur and cannot be an employee in any regular job), he always have excuses but I’m so tired of his bullshit. I cannot talk calmly to him because I am his little sister and he has a gigantic ego and gets angry whenever I have a different opinion. I had lunch with him and almost left the restaurant twice cause I couldn’t listen to him anymore. I threw up at office afterward because I was feeling so disturbed. My situation is even more complicated because he asked me to join one of his project – my profile was matching and it was an interesting opportunity; I am currently working on it and employed by the associate who runs the project and pays me (my brother didn’t invest in the company because any money but he shared his idea). I thought this was the opportunity to show my brother that I believed in him and a way to be closer. The result is, I have the proof that he is not competent and not working on this project because he is lost with other commitments that are failing. I don’t know what to do anymore.
