2 questions

1. If we can control our thoughts and feelings and watch over them curiously and separate from ourselves from them (and I can do this), then what makes us “us”? My friend said, “whatever we manifest”, but how do we know what we want to manifest is within our capabilities? I know I could never become a prima ballerina or a phd in physics, but I’ve believed in other thoughts and dreams others thought impossible, but have come true for me. Where does the belief that one can manifest something come from?
2. I’m trying to learn to control urges and thoughts that have ruled my life for decades. Is there a point when you are doing yourself a disservice by focusing on what historically have been the negatives in your life? Primarily food and alcohol. I’m finding myself so focused on figuring out not drinking, now all I’m thinking about is drinking!