3rd Date Gone Wrong


I had a third date last night that was fun and he came back to my place after and we had sex for the first time. We decided he was going to stay over, but he kept moving around in bed and I couldn’t sleep because of it. So we stopped cuddling so his movement wouldn’t bug me. He kept not falling asleep and moving around and the sound and movement still kept me awake. I let him know and asked if he could be more still. He said yes and then proceeded to keep moving like every 30 seconds.

I then got huffy and reminded him I had a full day of work the next morning (he is off work Monday-Wednesday each week) and went to the futon and said I would just try to sleep there. He said that’s ridiculous & I shouldn’t have to sleep on the futon and he got up to start getting dressed. I offered to drive him to his car (which he left at the restaurant) but he said I shouldn’t have to do that either and he’d get an Uber. It was 1:40am. He gave me a tiny kiss and then asked if I wanted to lock the door behind him. I got up to do so and he was already outside. It just felt abrupt.

I started to wonder if I’d done something wrong, but I was also annoyed he couldn’t just be still when he said he would be, knowing it was disrupting my sleep. I haven’t heard from him yet today and I’m wanting him to reach out, I realize. But I’m wondering if I should reach out or suggest we try to clear things up or try to understand how he was feeling. I’m wondering if I did something wrong or if he did or it was just a shitty circumstance. I know it’s often hard to sleep the first time sleeping with someone new. He also said something at one point that he was just glad to be there with me even if he didn’t get much sleep. I thought that was cute, but not how I felt–I really wanted sleep.

I wonder if he was hurt that sleep was more important to me. Anyway, I’m wanting to feel more peace around this. Part of me is thinking maybe we weren’t compatible enough anyway, so just let it go and it was a fun three dates. But I haven’t dated much and haven’t had sex in a long time and it felt good to put myself out there more. I don’t want to just detach and shut down either–even if it’s more of a short-term situation.