4. Model: Affair at age 19 years old

Hello! :)))

I would like some help to overcome an event from my past that is tormenting me now. When I was 19 years old, I had an affair with a married guy. After our affair, I never had the same kind of relationship ever again. At the time, I felt ashamed about what I did. Now, I’m 27 years old and I’m still feeling ashamed and disgusting when I think about it.

When I think about it, I try to change the story that I tell myself. I say to myself that I was young and I learned a lot about me and my values in life. I think I need another way to look at it. Please, help me!

Unintentional Model

C: Affair at age of 19 years old
T: I was a disgusting person to be involved in this kind of relationship
F: Disgusting
A: Beat me up
R: Don’t accept my past

Intentional Model

C: Affair at age of 19 years old
T: I had to have this experience to learn about my values
F: Compassion
A: Stop beat me up
R: Accept my past as it is.

Thank you!

Debora :))