A belief

Hello, I was wondering if I could have advice on my thoughts? So I grew up in a belief that not having meat on Fridays during a certain time of year was something you gave up so to speak. Now I’m really questioning the reason why and my belief. I view as a “bad” thing to do. I judge myself when I do eat meat on those certain Fridays and I get very frustrated on the Fridays that I don’t because I think I shouldn’t have to do it. It’s meant to practice abstinence. I really have a judgement around it. I have thoughts where I am a horrible person for eating it. I also think other people are judging me for it too ( when really it’s probably my thoughts). I get not giving into a desire during certain times of the year, but if I don’t have a good enough reason to do it or not then what? It goes back to who decides what is right and wrong.