C: G said “Have you been onboarded onto any projects yet?”/I said “nope”/G said “huh… what happened to that 9am with [C] on Friday?”
T: I’m in trouble
F: fear (sharp pang in gut)
A: replay over and over in my mind. try to figure out if I did something wrong. search my email for calendar invitation email of a 9 am on Friday with C. Think of ways I could have done things “better”. look at the schedule document. search my email again. try to console myself by telling myself C said she didn’t have anything for me when I talked to her Friday afternoon. filter everything I did today through “I did it wrong” filter. want to go to sleep.
R: I create trouble for myself?