Hello – I have been dating a man for almost 2 years. We have not been committed or monogamous the whole time but I thought we were working towards that. I did leave a few times but he would swoon me again I always came back with hopes the relationship would grow.
This pandemic has been hard on us both but he does does not want progress with us until he finds his own happiness (I understand that) – The only thing is that, I want progress. He still wants to date me (we truly love each other) but I have just found out he is sleeping with multiple women vs just one (although knowing there was even one booty call was hard for me to deal with).
I don’t want to be a part of multiple women, my heart is too deep into this – I really thought he was my one (sounds crazy if we didn’t have commitment) But are were closer in every way than I have EVER been to anyone..

I want a relationship with someone who wants monogamy, commitment, and to grow together.
With all of that said, I am going to bow out of this relationship – I cannot hang in there anymore hoping for him to make different decisions.

A few things that come to mind:

I don’t want to go through the grieving process because it hurts.
• I know I will get through it
• It will suck but it won’t last
• Everyone goes through this
• I will miss him so much

I don’t know if I should completely remove him from my life or if we can still casually talk
• I am not in the point where I would want to see him dating other women
• I think he is amazing in so many ways – don’t want to lose that friendship
• I worry that I would still hold onto hope if we stayed friends.

How do I change my mindset to looking forward to a future vs feeling a loss of this?
• I feel a big loss
• I can’t imagine another man satisfying me like him
• Currently, I don’t see how there is someone else out there for me – Logically I see, but in my mind I can’t imagine.

Would love support processing these things. I’m in the midst of it all and feeling a bit lost on how to process or make the right choices.