Accepting myself

I’ve recently become aware of how much I rely on others’ (particularly my husband) approval of me in order to approve of myself. But now I feel so stuck. Each time I realize that my sensitivity to what my husband says about me is actually because of something I’m believing about myself, I struggle with what to do next. I try to just sit with the feelings that come up (defeat, despair, frustration). I’m doing models and intentional on my thoughts. I guess I feel like now that I’ve had this realization, I’m not changing as fast as I want. Is this just the work? Is there a particular SCS workbook or resource that I could use to go deeper in uncovering these beliefs about myself and work to overcome them?