Accepting vs. Changing My Judgmental Thoughts


When I started with SCS, I loved the Unintentional Model and Intentional Model – because it felt like I had a way to escape my uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I got Brooke’s 50/50 concept logically – but I think I felt that maybe I could push that to 80/20 or 90/10 amazing feelings if I just got really great at doing models. My early work was always about quickly seeing where the uncomfortable feeling was coming from and then quickly moving to the new model, new thought, new feeling.

Since then (and certification and watching Brooke’s live coaching at a deeper level), I see that staying in the unintentional model has more value than I previously understood. Not escaping, but just seeing – as an observer – the unintentional thought as just a thought – not something to escape from. Not easy, but I’m definitely doing this with more openness and curiosity.

I’m seeing now that a part of what I feel regularly is shame. Having the thought that “I’m bad.” And so I’ve modeled and journaled on this quite a bit. And I’m thinking that not judging these negative thoughts and judgments as “bad” – but just accepting them as thoughts – might be useful. I find that my mind is very judgmental (which, I see, I’m judging “behind the scenes” as “bad”) – but I’m wondering instead of not judging my judgmental thoughts – maybe just accepting that my mind is sometimes judgmental might be better than actively trying to turn off the judgments.

Curious on feedback on this. Do you recommend accepting that my mind sometimes judges things (myself, others, the world) – and then stop judging that judgment as “bad” – or actually work on no longer judging things good or bad? I feel like self acceptance may be the way to go (maybe I should trust my answer) – but was curious what your thought might be. Thanks!