Actions that you are not aware of

How can you use the model if you are reflecting on an action that you supposedly took but were not even aware of? My husband told me that I did something numerous times that made him feel excluded. I have no recollection of ever doing it so I can’t even reflect on what feeling or thought would have caused me to take that action, if for me that action was essentially non-existent. I don’t know what my unintentional model would be in that case.