Addicted to the thrill of too much to do

“Getting it Done” September has been my most poorly implemented of all my scholars months (9 now!). It’s because, instead of having a schedule where everything calmly and coolly gets done on time and with no drama, I prefer everything to be a mad dash, a huge crisis, too much to do with not enough time, etc., so I can get a rush from the stress and adrenaline. I might be using half the things in my life to buffer from the other half, every thing to buffer every other thing. Here’s an example.

C Editing the final chapter of my book
T I should run a marathon
F Exhilarated by the prospect of finishing a marathon instead of this book I’ve been working on for 24 years
A Sign up for marathon
R Less editing time for book, book not finished

I’ve designed my life to reinforce this, i.e., my job, everybody I know has ADHD so I never have to pay attention to anything for more than 30 seconds at a time, even in conversation.

I’ve enjoyed living this way, but at this point it’s affecting two goals I want to accomplish: losing the last 20 lbs (I’ve lost 50, then started gaining and losing the same 10 because that’s more thrilling for me than success and I was angry there was no supermodel body hiding in there) and finishing this book. Both require planning and focus, not impossible to-do lists and freaking out. Any tips on how to model my way out of the addiction to doing too much?