Adult friendships

I am having issues with my adult women friendships. I have been friends with a group of women for 8 years, and I feel like we use to be much closer friends and now our relationship has become more superficial. Now when we hang out everyone has one or two drinks, goes home very early, and has polite conversation. I feel like everyone has turned into stepford wives.

I also noticed that when I’m around them I feel like I have to act like them or I get disapproving looks. I find myself thinking, “don’t talk or chime in, you’ve talked too much, or sit up straight, or slow down on the drinking”, don’t finish your salad.” It feels like I’m playing the part of a “friend” instead of having genuine relationships.

I know there are other issues here, like why do I think it’s fun when everyone drinks a lot, stays out late, and talks candidly?

It’s like I’m trying so hard for them to like me, but then I get frustrated because I don’t really have fun being around them. I really want to have friendships but don’t feel like it should be this much work. Help!

C: Outings with my friends have changed.
T: This isn’t fun
F: disappointed
A: Hang our with them less
R: have less friends