Affair shame & guilt


I need some help overcoming shame and guilt that I feel from having an affair while married. Technically we were on our way to separating, now divorced, but this is holding me back in moving forward and being able to connect with other men bc whenever I tell them about these indiscretions, they leave. I feel like I need to to forgive myself.

C: cheated on husband twice
T: this was totally wrong
F: shame
A: avoid dating, nervous to tell other potential men, not open up or be vulnerable, live in the past
R: stuck

I take accountability for my role and my actions/indiscretions. I want to be able to forgive myself. How do I do that?