Afraid of thoughts

I have gone so long of keeping thoughts in my head (no writing down, no talking to anyone about them) conditioning from my family to keep my thoughts to myself to avoid conflicts. I was always told I overshared things, it’s now become the opposite. I tend to resolve things by thinking about them. Some of the thoughts I have, I feel embarrassed/angry that they are even there. They seem completely valid in my head but writing them down seems embarrassing that I have those thoughts to myself even though no one else will be reading them. How can I get passed judging my own thoughts about a particular thing I am dealing with be it family disagreement/grudge or career/job related issue? It’s almost as if I am afraid of seeing them written down.