After These Family News …


Hello there,

I woke up this morning to a new Circumstance = My mother called this morning, cried over the phone, and told me she was diagnosed with womb cancer.

This morning was also supposed to be the first day of my starting a slimming food protocol. And unsurprisingly, my brain thinks this is definitely not the time to do that, given the family news I’ve just received. In my brain’s mind :-), this should be a time where I should be allowed to eat whatever I want, especially comforting and delicious foods and not “harm” myself more by restricting and going through sugar and flour withdrawals.

I wrote down some of the thoughts that came up for me from the new circumstance:

My mom will not make it.
She will probably have an ugly and dreadful suffering.
She doesn’t deserve it.
I just lost my father few months ago, I cannot deal with another loss.
With the corona-virus, I cannot even travel to see her and be with her.
I feel terrible for her for having to go through this.
I wonder if they found it too late.
Maybe it already spread to her entire stomach.
We are all going to suffer here.
I probably will get it too.

So, after I emptied all these sentences out, I asked myself if of all the thoughts in the world I might want to think different thoughts and came up with these, which I believe too:

It’s possible that they caught it early and she will be fine.
While I cannot travel to see her, she has my brother, her siblings, my cousins and many friends there. She’s not alone.
She lives in a country where they have the best medical care.
I could go through some tests myself and make sure I won’t get it.
I do feel for her for worrying, but I can be here for her, over the phone and encourage her, while she’s going through this.
Losing my father few months ago has nothing to do with this.
I want to believe she will get out of this.
There is nothing more that I can do at this point.

So, my question is: Is this one of those cases where Brooke says that sometimes things happen in our lives that we want to feel sad and upset about and not move to Byron-Katie-My-Favorite thoughts? What I mean, is this the case where I should want to feel worry and dread on purpose because it is normal for a daughter to feel this way under this circumstance?

Because feeling worry or changing it will not affect how her cancer will go, so I am not sure how to handle this.