All in for my second year

It took me a while to come up with an impossible goal for 2018 — to commit myself fully to scholars for the year! This is my second year and I realized I didn’t fully commit to all the homework and, no surprise, this led to the realization that I seldom fully commit to anything and am pretty good at skipping out when the going gets rough. I have never participated in a live call or even a Q and A but I really want to be all in this year. I have reached my goal weight (down 40 lbs) and have done amazing things with over drinking. But I have had a couple of times where I drank too much and I find that frustrating. All of them were around my family, on vacation in Barbados, Christmas day, and New Year’s day. These family events overwhelm me as I get caught up in trying to make everyone happy and basically just freak out. I actually think to myself that I can’t handle this, I can’t handle these feelings. It is the downtime, sitting around and ‘visiting’ that seems to get to me. I have done lots of models and understand where I go wrong. My goal was to be an occasional drinker, one drink every week or two. But there are occasions when I let myself down and don’t stop at one. And on those occasions, if I was honest I would admit that I knew ‘going in’ that I would not stop at one. I really didn’t like being drunk, I am sloppier than I used to be because my tolerance is lower. I am embarrassed and sorry that I don’t set a better example for my kids. My husband is pretty disappointed and the net result is not at all positive. Then I go and do it again. Is the only option here to stop drinking entirely? I don’t make a drink plan because my intention is almost always not to drink at all. Sometimes I make a drink plan — like a glass on wine on Christmas Eve — but I feel fine without it, so I skip it. Same with sugar, I am pretty much over sugar so if I make a plan to have desert, I might feel like I don’t ‘need’ it so I don’t bother. Then I might have a few bites of someone else’s desert when I don’t plan for it but it is available. How do I change my plan for my second year?