All over the place

Hello! I am working on my impossible goal for 2020 to make $50,000. I’ve posted about it a lot here too. I’m in the process of finding a job that will help me get to my goal. Here’s the issue – my brain is keeping me stuck and it seems like it’s on this one type of job. There is an environmental education center that offered me a position that I turned down because I wanted more money and if I accepted what they were going to pay me, it felt like I was giving up on my goal. So I decided to turn them down and look for jobs that are higher paying. Now I’m looking for higher paying jobs and my brain is looping on that fact that if I don’t go back and ask the environmental education center for the job, I”ll be giving up on what I want in a job which is to be able to work in education and work outside. I want to earn lots of money to enroll in coach certification and I want to do something I enjoy at the same time. Right now, my brain is saying the only thing I’ll enjoy is if I work outside in education, but the money isn’t there at the pay I want. I’ve also been applying to higher paying jobs and I’ve been getting turned down. I also know that a job is just the circumstance, but right now it really feels like I need to have a job I enjoy right away instead of working to “love” the job. Please help me get out of this loop! Thanks!