Allowing emotions


I have done coaching about my family and I’ve come up with thoughts that serve me better than my default thought (see first model below), however the old thoughts keep coming up and I’m wondering if it’s because I’m not allowing the emotion of the first model? The circumstances have been changing over the past year (all situations with my brother, mother and politics), but I have a similar thought pattern. My sister hasn’t spoken to anyone in my family for about 15 years by her choice. Maybe I’m not sitting with the sadness that I feel about my brother could choose to not be involved with my family too?

C: Brother and mom disagree about Donald Trump at the last family dinner 2 weeks ago (is disagree too subjective? I could put in the exact quotes…). Brother not attending family dinner for Father’s day. Sister has not been to family event or spoken to family in 15 years.
T: We’re going to lose him too.
F: Fear
A: worrying during family event
R: I lose out at visiting with my family that is there.

My intentional model:
C: same as above
T: He can choose how much he wants to be involved with the family
F: Allowing
A: Going to family events and not thinking about brother
R: I am choosing to be involved with my family.