Allowing others to determine how I feel?

I feel bitter and resentful towards my parents. They were controlling of me and my brothers.  They were more controlling of me, since I am a female, and I come from a middle eastern background.  They did not give me space to express myself. I am now 45, and I learned that they had their own wounds and insecurities.  They did a good job in taking care of us and holding the family together. Yet in some aspects, I feel I was treated unfairly. I still hold grudges. I tried to forgive and move on, but still I feel I have been dragged into a life I didn’t chose. I want to know how I can help myself get over this and have power over my feelings.