Allowing restlessness of a craving 10 minutes at a time


I just wrote the following model during my thought download:

C: Sitting in chair, noticing and journaling my thoughts.
T: I want sugar.
F: Desire / craving / restless. How does it FEEL: Stomach feels stuffed. Eyelashes feel itchy. Leg is restless. Throbbing sensation in my chest / solar plexus and stomach. Big whiffle ball the size of a beach ball in my stomach – hard but with holes in it. Then there’s a softball sized ball in my solar plexus region, bouncing around slightly. I feel some electricity throughout my arms and on the back of my neck. My breathing is somewhat shallow. Jaw clenched but not shut, just using those muscles. Abdomen feels tight/rigid.
A: I think about what’s available in the fridge and pantry that could satisfy my craving… hot chocolate = best bet.
R: I create desire/craving?

What else could go in that R line? Also, in the middle of that model and trying to allow the vibrations in my body my noticing and describing them, I remembered that I had a little bit of sugar in the house, and my model changed to this one:

C: Remembered there’s hot chocolate mix in my pantry. And that I have some biscuits in this room.
T: I will have that, even though I’m already full.
F: Relieved – tightness in my chest and abdomen and jaw are relieved and I breathe more deeply.
A: Continue to journal and notice thoughts. Consider when to stop journaling to make hot chocolate. Try to ignore the part of my brain that says “but do you need it?” and “but you’re not actually hungry!” and sit in indecision about whether to act on this urge or not. Debate whether to at biscuits instead since that’s “less sugary” than the hot chocolate, is more easily accessible, and nobody will see me go get that.
R: I create higher likelihood that I react to the urge to consume sugar. I create various possible plans for how to ingest sugar asap.

So now I’m trying to create another model that will perhaps make me feel deprived, so that I can learn to allow those body vibrations and survive but right now it feels impossible to do anything more than bargain with myself and make deals like “I can handle this craving for another 10 minutes, how about I commit to not eating anything until then and then reassess and make another short term goal such as another ten minutes, or allow myself the treat.”

C: Thinking about when and what to eat and not eat / Craving for sugar
T: I can handle any emotion for 10 minutes
F: empowered
A: Set 10 minute timer, jot down any observations of my physical experience for the next ten minutes, while I also get work done.
R: I create empowering myself, and creating evidence / reps of teaching my brain muscles that restlessness and desire can be endured and while they may be unpleasant much like a repetition of lifting a weight at the gym, lead to very desirable outcomes long term, and make me a stronger person with a more intentional life.

C: Thinking about when and what to eat and not eat / Craving for sugar
T: I could wait until dinner to eat again, but that’s a few hours away!
F: Scarcity (or fear, desire, restlessness)
A: Contemplate scrapping all this and just letting myself have some hot chocolate since “this is hard” and think of other reasons why I deserve a treat today.
R: I create not waiting until dinner to eat/drink again. I create decreased discipline and a missed opportunity for personal growth that would benefit all areas of my life.

Once again, I feel like I might be missing the mark with what should go in my R line here. Anyway, do you have any advice? For now I will keep trying to take it 10 minutes at a time, but will likely allow myself the reward of hot chocolate after 10 or 20 minutes, having allowed the urge and not immediately reacting to it. I suppose there is not right or wrong way to go about things, but I am looking for any reassurance around things I may be doing “right” and guidance for things I may be doing that could be improved upon!