Look at that brain of mine, looking for its reward!

I am the one who asked the question titled “Allow Urges Physically” and sat yesterday in the morning, planning to stay aware, stay with the discomfort, not buy into the thoughts. Did models on 20 urging thoughts, did intentional models, sat twenty more minutes and (once again) the next thing I knew I was out the door, chewing on a french toast.

Came back home and started looking for that thought that occurred just before I got up to leave and I found this one:
“Are you done with this self-help journaling? Good. I gave you what you want, I waited way past my due time, now let’s go out.”

Such a sneaky bastard! I mean, I have to admit, it’s genius, and upsetting at the same time, because just when I have this list of 20-30 thoughts list and I go down the lust to see what my brain brings up, it comes up with something new that just drops the hammer and I am convinced.

So what am I missing?