Allowing Urges Physically


I am pretty new to scholars and have watched every video available on the Stop Overeating course, as well as the Stop Overdrinking course.
My issue is that for the longest time I wake up early in the morning and I go to sit in a cafe and order a french toast with cream, fruits and decaf cappuccino.
Before that I used to sit in diners and eat a huge bagel, eggs, butter and jam.

I have consequences of this way of eating: gained 40 pounds, have inflammation throughout my body, joint pain, foggy brain, unable to focus on my work, have more urges to overeat throughout the day, as well as starting to exclude myself from social gatherings due to my shame around how I look.

So the past week I have been trying to follow the allowing urges thing and have not been successful.
I made lists and instructions from every podcast and coaching call I could find, mostly I tried to process the urge without language, like Brooke talks about in one of her recent podcasts.

The way it looks is I get up in the morning and as I brush my teeth I noticed my brain says:
“Well, I know you wanted to start eating salads as of today, but it’s November 18th. Who starts eating salads ten days before Thanksgiving? Let’s ride it out till December 1st and then start that. It won’t change much.”

I heard that thought and immediately labeled it as An Urge.
Then I decided that I will slow myself down, not get dressed, but rather sit quietly on the sofa and observe the urge.

I sat there for fifteen minutes. When I removed the language and tried to trace my body, there was absolute nothingness.
My breathing was calm, my heart was beating regularly, I had no hunger, no heavy chest, just nothing.

And the next thing I remembered is getting up, showering, telling my brain “You know, you are right,” and I got dressed, went out, and had the french toast.

And if I try to learn from this morning, for example, it seems like I ended up rewarding the urge is simply because in the moment it seemed more appealing (to postpone to December 1st) than to start on a random November date.

Is it possible that the discomfort you are talking about is something I cannot feel physically?
It felt like it’s just all a conversation in my head. There was nothing physical.