Almost 6 months and I still blow up

I joined because of the topic of May relationships. I understand the model but “cant” put it into action when .i get frustrated with my “difficult ” husband. I am not the only one who describes my husband as difficult. His partners, his employees, his friends call me St. D. I try so hard not to react but I feel like I just stuff down my feelings and then its one of those straws that breaks the camels backs things. Last night we were playing cards with friends and .i was the only one who wasnt drinking. The friends didnt care but my husband wouldnt stop giving me shit about it. I could describe the talk but you probably get it. I took it and took it and then lost my temper. My girlfriend told me she didnt know how I lasted as long as I did. I told her about him not being able to make me feel any thing, that it was my own thoughts and she laughed and said anyone would have reacted. I like the model but I struggle so much with the concept of neutral C’s. We just had a school shooting in our area. My sister barely survived an earthquake and my friends condo blew away in St Croix. How can these C’s be neutral? I feel like the model isnt working for me and its your main concept. How long does one give it before they give up? I am discouraged.