Alone


Hi Brooke,
Since I’ve started the SCS, I’ve been working on my over-drinking and over-eating. I’ve had some success, and of course some failures. Yesterday I had a thought and realized that it might be contributing to my over-drinking. I am married to a Marine who has been deployed much of our marriage. We have three kids and I’ve pretty much been doing this parenting thing alone since the beginning. I am heading into another deployment and I would love to do this one different. Whenever he leaves, I generally do great during the week because of our routines, but then on the weekend I feel lonely and depressed. People spend family time on the weekend and it seems to make me feel more lonely. The crazy thing is I’m surrounded by my kids yet lonely. In the past, whenever he leaves, I have tried to change my thinking to define my family unit as myself and the kiddos and just continue on to do things as I would when he’s around. Yet, as I’m facing this next one, I am feeling the same way I always do. So back to last night, I was pulling into my driveway after picking up my son from school and my street was really quiet and I had the thought that it was Friday night, I was alone again and staring into a long weekend of doing it on my own. Immediately I wanted to drink. (Hello progress!) Here’s my model from last night, but would love some help trying to change my thinking regarding this deployment so I don’t end up feeling so down and alone.
C: Friday night
T: Alone again, all weekend
F: dread
A: drink wine
R: alienate from my kids, end up overeating too.

If you were facing a 7 month separation from your hubby, how would you think regarding weekends, holidays, etc. (And, sidenote, any thoughts on staying connected? We’ve been separated so much its starting to be easier to be alone than connect with him. Also, he won’t be able to call for the most part on this one, so I’m also looking at having sporadic communication for the next 7 months.) Regarding self confidence, however…if there’s one thing I’m confident about, its running a household on my own. No doubt there. 🙂