Am I avoiding/ buffering?

C: Client is 2 minutes late
T: It might be a no-show
F: Relief
A: Initially I jump on the T and the F and start thinking about what I shall do with the time I will now have spare. Almost instantly though I realize that there are other explanations for C and I tell myself to stop thinking T and feeling F, because I know from experience that it’s very rare that a client doesn’t show and he/she will most likely show up soon.
R: I’m not present when client shows up (and I reinforce the habit/ pattern of “wishful thinking” next time C happens??)

– I don’t understand why I have this T instantly. I DO want client to show up! So why does my brain take me there? Could T be a way of avoiding an underlying T and F?
– How does R proof T in this model? What am I missing?