Am I buffering with an unintentional model?

I find myself getting on coaching calls and feeling 20 times worse than I did when I got on the call. I think it’s because the coach wants to work the unintentional model so that I can connect my thought to the action. But this issue is, I am obsessed with personal development. I am so ridiculously aware of the unintentional model. When I remind myself of the actions I take from that negative thought, I shame myself even more. The reason I still feel stuck in the unintentional is because it’s a practiced belief where my brain most likely thinks it’s a C. I do this with dating and with my business. Basically the trigger is when I hit a deadline with dating or a lead. I’ve been at the dream of a 6 figure business and looking for my soulmate for 20 years! So my brain just goes to the thought that there is something wrong with me, or that I can’t partner up with anyone, or I’m always alone or I don’t get success or abundance.

Where I need help is – How can I use these coaching calls to actually HEAL this loop I’m in? I want to get OUT of this old belief system into a new one. Every coach wants me to continue analyzing the loop and it’s adding MORE pain.