I am practicing all you teach and do my homework in SCS almost every day. This is my third month as a scholar. So far I am proud of my work and commitment and I am determined to continue my work with my thoughts/feelings.
Here is a question:
Sometimes I feel that I give/spend too much time into SCS/thoughts work that I am forgetting to live my life. Being aware of your thoughts, doing thought download and model is becoming my buffer? Is that even possible?
For example, last Sunday I had a task on my calendar – clean out my closet – an item I couldn’t get to last month, since we had friends over + travelled most weekends). So I had scheduled it for last weekend on my calendar.
But I decided (deliberately) that I will rather spend that time with my son (1.5 years old) and do closet work at a later time. So when the time arrived, it created lot of conflicting thoughts –
I am not following calendar, I am not honoring myself (even though i decided spending time with my son is what I wanted to do).
I am not enjoying my time with my son – omg, im so stressed out for nothing.
I want 10 min break so I can go to my room and do a thought download and model
but that thought led to – you are using the tools as a crutch, c’mon you should be able to handle your thoughts without a pen and paper.
Now I am anxious again. Is self coaching causing all this stress? May be I am over using it or indulging in it
Ah ! so many thoughts that left me exhausted and guilty end of day 🙁
Please help on how would you handle thoughts like above when you dont have access to pen and paper , when you can’t catch a 5 min break?
Am I using self coaching to buffer?
I am determined I can figure this out with your help
Thank you so much.