Am I doing this right?


Hello coach!

I am an aspiring life coach and I’m new to scholars so I am so excited to be here! This is my first “Ask A Coach” submission, so here it goes!

I often have a thought that there is a right way to do everything. I find myself always having this thought, or belief, whenever I get into something that is new to me, (i.e. coaching) and brings up feelings of uncertainty and confusion. These feelings then lead me to always asking the question “Am I doing this right?” which then leads me to looking to others for advice, clear and concise directions on how to do things “the right way,” and for validation. Many times this ultimately ends up with me giving up on these new things when I don’t get any of those. I notice though that when I am able to get those things that I perform really well.

I talked a little bit about this in my first private coaching session this morning and what we came up with is that I need to challenge those thoughts and beliefs and start trying on new thoughts and beliefs and practice them. I did some reflecting after and started thinking about why I believe and think this way and I realized that it may come from me being a “people pleaser.” I accept that but what I need help understanding is the difference between being a people pleaser and being someone who actually gets joy from making others, especially the people I love, happy. I believe that I truly do get joy from making others happy. I can’t tell if the two are different or if they’re the same and I’m just in denial about it.

Will choosing to learn if they are different or the same and finding the root of it be more beneficial in my growth than just accepting what is? Thank you in advance for your help! I appreciate you and all that you are doing here in scholars.