Hi Brooke!
I love reading the Ask Brooke section because even though we have very different problems, I can somehow relate and benefit from my fellow self coaching scholars and your answers to their questions of course. So a big thank you to all of you! You’re gems!
Here’s today’s situation: I went to my friend’s who had asked me to bring desserts. I brought 3, 2 of which were (under-)cooked and turned out not to be good and the third one which I love doing, a brawnie or raw brownie (process 2 cups of dates, 2 cups of walnuts and 4 tablespoons of cocoa, press into a dish and savour) which was a success (my thought – I thought it was delicious, so did my daughter and I heard compliments from the friends). Now I was pleased to let my friends have some more brawnie. But ashamed of the other ones. That made me realise I often get mixed up with the thought I have about the food I make. I’m proud of my brawnie as if I was my brawnie, therefore a success and I’m ashamed of my other cakes as if I was a failure. I realise it makes no sense since I can’t be both a success and a failure and I’m certainly not a piece of cake. And yet, I realise that’s often the way I feel when my daughter doesn’t want to eat the food I prepare. I get discouraged as if what she was saying was a reflection of who I am.
Unintentional
C – my food
T – I am whatever my food is.
F – if others say or I think my food is good, I feel good; if bad, I feel bad.
A – I give freely and happily the good food; I want to erase the bad food I created by eating it
R – I’m always dependent on what thoughts come up about what I create.
Intentional
T – I always do my best and I’m always authentic when preparing food
F – detached
A – I prepare my favourite foods
R – I focus on what I prefer doing best
I feel I haven’t reached the core of the matter yet, that I’m stuck. I’d be very interested in your thoughts. Thank you so much!
Nan