When I went to do this month’s homework it was easy for me to come up with my sob story. I used to tell it all the time. I remember all the thoughts I used to think about how I wasn’t given a leg up, I didn’t come from money, life was harder for me because I had a single mom and student loans… in fact I used to compare myself to my ex-boyfriend and engage him in endless arguments/complaining sessions where I would voice all my thoughts out loud (thinking they were facts) and try to CONVINCE him that life was just harder for me than it was for him.

Three years later – and no longer dating that man – I notice the story I tell myself is much more positive. I genuinely believe that my life is good. I’ve been able to achieve everything I wanted to achieve, I have enough money, a great relationship, I don’t need anything. I don’t believe those things I used to say about life being hard for me are true. So is this more positive story my current story? Should I start here, and then come up with an even better story I want to believe about how my life is amazing?

Or should go back and revisit that old sob story? Part of me suspects that I’m not really done believing it – that the only reason I’m not currently telling it is because I’ve removed the Circumstance in my life (my ex-boyfriend) whose wealth used to trigger a lot of negative thoughts and comparisons in my brain. If the Circumstance were to come back, or if a similar one were to present itself, then the negative thoughts might come back, and I might start believing them again. Does that mean I still have work to do and I should dig up all those old thoughts and work through them? Or does the fact that I recognize them as old thoughts mean I’m ready to move on?