Right now the only emotion I can seem to get me out of some weird spiral of thoughts that halt me at anger

A. I don’t want anger to be my driving emotion and surely that isn’t a long-term “good” thing…
B. – This spiral thing is just like I can’t seem to take action with everyone looking – it’s weird but it’s like can I just have time to get myself together inside myself before having an audience….
— I’m using all the coaching techniques and I truly want to choose my thoughts and my mind and I’m just …… not sure how to come out of this…..

C – I get it together for a min and the next my emotions are right back to a circus in my head — & just ping-ponging back & forth…..