Anger at my sister in law


My sister-in-law went against her doctor’s orders and decided to have a home birth after having an emergency Cesarean with her first child. Consequently, my nephew (who was perfectly healthy) until this home birth that went terribly wrong, has brain damage and mobility issues.

I feel angry at my sister-in-law and brother for doing what I see as reckless and harmful to their child. If I try to let this anger go, it feels like I am letting my nephew down by not acknowledging this grave injustice to his quality of life. To me, it seems as reckless as drunk driving or leaving your child unattended. Birth is one of the most traumatic times and so much can go wrong. My sister-in-law went on to have two more home births after this as she “didn’t trust” doctors. The whole situation seems so reckless and insane. I no longer have a relationship with either my brother or my sister as I am so upset/shocked that they would harm their own children by engaging in this risky behavior. I just don’t know how to categorize it, put my mental upset /shock about it all to rest and just accept it is what it is without feeling I am somehow letting my nephew down by not being angry that his life is needlessly going to be so much more difficult. I think he should be able to sue his parents for reckless endangerment, going against medical recommendations etc.