I sometimes have terrible anger problems. I think I get frustrated and angry and don’t allow those emotions. I get stubborn and then get angry about being angry. I’ve “tried” for a long time and talked to counsellors about this but I need more help…. Here’s an example from tonight. Unfortunately the Unintentional Model was the reality for today.

Unintentional Model:
C- At approximately 9:00 p.m., my boyfriend stated that we need to finish packing for our 4-night camping trip tomorrow.
T- I don’t want to right now.
F- Angry
A- Tell my boyfriend that we should just go to sleep and do it in the morning. Argue about having to pack. Regret agreeing for us to go to dinner at my Uncle’s instead of stay home and pack. Attempt to acknowledge my emotion. Not stop to feel my emotions and allow them. Slam my back down on the table. Tell my boyfriend I wanted to throw my drink in his face but that I wouldn’t. Mock my boyfriend by repeating what he says in a funny voice. Complain about having to bring things down to the car. Kick the cement block casually in the parking garage. Complain about my aching back. Say maybe I don’t want to go camping even though I know I actually do. Complain about having to get ready for bed, etc.
R- I have physical stress in my body and my boyfriend said he did not enjoy part of the night due to my behaviours.

Intentional Model:
C- At approximately 9:00 p.m., My boyfriend stated that we need to finish packing for our 4-night camping trip tomorrow.
T- Packing and preparing for this amazing trip is exactly what I need and want to do right now.
F- Excited
A- I acknowledge any anger, frustration annoyance and irritability that may surface within me. I make a plan of action with my boyfriend. I pack for our camping trip with my boyfriend. I accept that we still have a lot to pack. I do not react to my negative emotions. I think about the purpose of packing which is to prepare for a camping trip we have been looking forward to for a year. I think about the awesome trip we are going to have and talk about it with my boyfriend. I accept that we don’t have much time and that it is late. I bring things down to the car with no complaints, because I know it will make the morning easier. I tell my boyfriend I love him. I do not throw or slam anything.
R- We finish packing efficiently with no behavioural escalations.