Another guy

I ran into a guy that I dated briefly years ago. Ever since the run in, I cannot stop thinking about him. He looked at me like I’m the most beautiful person in the world (I remember that’s how he always looked at me when we dated too). I am a happily married person now, but since I ran into this guy, I am craving that feeling again: I’m beautiful.

In the back of my mind, I heard your voice Brooke and it was, “Why can’t you look at yourself that way? Like you are the most beautiful person in the world?” I have started practicing this, but I’m finding it hard to break out of my automatic response of self criticism whenever I look at myself in the mirror.

C: My reflection
T: My hair is so frizzy. Why is my skin breaking out? I really need to whiten my teeth
F: Ugly
A: More self criticism and avoiding mirrors
R: Increased criticism whenever I do look at myself

My thought I would like to move to is that I am beautiful just how I am. I don’t like that I rely on others to make me feel beautiful because it’s only short lived.