I’m in an anxiety loop where I’m anxious about being anxious that my boyfriend doesn’t approve of me. I don’t think that I should want him to approve of all of my actions because that gives away my control over what I’m thinking and how I’m acting. I can’t find a thought that considers his opinion as something that matters but is not reliant on him validating everything I do. Please help. Below is my current model:

C friend over last night
T I don’t want BF to disapprove of me
F anxious
A apologise in moment for telling story about past that I thought he might disapprove of, ruminate, don’t sleep
R I disapprove of myself